24 Feb 2005(Thu)

TOKYO (February 23): Would you like to be a referee?

Me? No thank you!

I tried it once, in the park behind my house in England one summer's evening.

It was a preseason friendly between two pub teams from the Sunday morning league. I knew both sets of players well, but was a neutral spectator at this match because I played for a different team a few miles down the road.

Well, I was planning to be a spectator, but the referee did not turn up. This is where the fun began.

"Come on. You can be the ref. It's only a friendly," was the plea from the two captains, as they handed me the whistle.

Looking back, some 25 years on, I should have said something like: "I'm sorry I can't. I have to leave at half-time and help my mother with the washing up, take the dog to the vet and then drive my grandmother to church."

Or take my grandmother to the vet...anything. But foolishly I agreed....

I quickly learned that friends off the pitch became enemies on it.

Virtually every decision was questioned, on occasions extremely aggressively.

I can't remember the score because it wasn't important. All I remember was blowing the final whistle early because I couldn't wait to get it over with.

Then, back in the pub an hour or so later, everybody was smiling and friendly again, as if nothing had happened.

From my brief experience (about 87 minutes!), I know that refs have an extremely difficult job. An impossible one, in fact.

At JFA House on Tuesday afternoon, long-time Japan ref and now chief instructor, Leslie Mottram, gave a very interesting and entertaining presentation, highlighting just some of the problems they face.

I particularly liked the section on "simulation."

This is FIFA jargon for diving, but the big Scotsman went further.

"Let's call it cheating," he said, "because that's what players are doing."

Of course he is right.

It's not simulation, it's cheating, and it is a modern-day plague around the football world.

Players who dive and don't win a free kick or a penalty complain to the referee. Defenders who are penalised when they have not touched the forward who dives also complain to the ref, with justification.

The answer is simple.

Just don't do it. Play honestly and fairly, and honour the FIFA Fair Play code.

That will make a referee's job easier, but I am sure it is not going to happen in the near future.

ends